Well, I haven't written in a while, but there's not a lot going on in my life, really. I'm busy working most of the time, and wondering if I need to keep my job or look for something else. I love the people I work with, and I love my actual job, but some of the office politics involved just drive me nuts, and the way the folks in charge are handling some things just seems downright wrong, although they've been very good to me personally. I just can't decide whether it's bad enough to go to a different job. Plus I have to worry about stuff like insurance now that never seemed like that big a concern before. Anyway, I guess I'll figure it out.

What I'm not sure I'll figure out is the whole dating thing. I've never dated much, and I've never had any kind of serious relationship. I have a lot of trouble letting down my guard enough for people to really get to know me, I always have been like that, and now I think it may be even harder. So this guy I've gone out with a few times is nice. But people keep asking me about it like I'm supposed to know right now if he's Mr. Right, and I just don't know. He's a nice guy. Right now, as long as he's ok with taking it slow, we'll be okay. I feel like I need to tell him more about the cancer and how it's made me feel and how worried I still am sometimes, but I don't want that to be the whole focus of conversation for too long because it's overwhelming to think about for any length of time, even for me, and I've had most of a year to try to come to terms with it. And even though I told him I had cancer, I didn't go into any great detail, so I've still got at least one really, really major point to mention - that I can't have kids. When I told him about the cancer, that was really our first date (unless you count when I met him, but I don't, because I was chicken and dragged my sister along) and somehow a first date doesn't seem like the time to say, oh, hey, by the way, I can't have children. It just seems a little presumptuous somehow to mention it that early. I thought I'd mention it Saturday when we went out (3rd date, if you're wondering), but he started talking about kids and handing stuff down to his first born, and even though I guess that could have been a great opening, somehow it seemed like the wrong time to say anything.

Anyway, I work this coming weekend, so I won't see him until the weekend of 10/6, probably, if then, since apparently he's going camping with a bunch of people he knows. I was invited, but I'm not much of a camper, plus camping with a bunch of people I've never met before really doesn't sound all that appealing.